How NOT to hold yourself/your group accountable
Or: Here’s what one person from Seattle Evening March/EDM did during a recent IG Live. Don’t make the same ‘mistakes’.
Breaking OPSEC: The organizer of a march that was the precursor of early EDM, was using the real life names of some of the central organizers of EDM. Namely, one of the organizers who is transgender, who had their name repeatedly mentioned (during a segment in which the livestreamer was complaining about getting doxxed once)
“I’m not a misogynist but…”, never a great way to start a sentence. Then when you talk about how “your” march met the Black Femme march and they ended up combining and people looked to the black women, instead of you, you decided to make the fact you felt hurt known and complained about being pushed out of the front. Talking over black women, like so many men have, in the process.
Now, one of the organizers of EDM started taking donations and raised about $17,000. But soon there were accusations about misappropriated funds, if you claim to want to “clear it all up” and an accountant offers to take all your receipts and organize everything and plug it into spreadsheets so people can see clearly… don’t waffle. Don’t do anything but leap at the chance to disprove claims of grifting. Especially if someone offers to do all the work for you. It doesn’t help your case.
Breaking OPSEC… Again: Don’t then go and mention the actual names of the rest of the organizers of the march. You can just say, “The Organizers” or “One of the Organizers”. That way you don’t break OPSEC.
“Lots of good came out of this… except the harm and the abuse”, is really not a great way to describe your cause or your efforts.
Referring to side arguments and discussions going on that are unrelated to what *you* want to talk about as “drama” is not just demeaning and offputting, it’s *rude*.
“I’m not gonna hit a female” is not the way you make yourself sound sympathetic or like a good guy. You don’t call grown women “female”. And don’t double down with, “I made sure I wasn’t gonna get tased by a woman.” or “I never pulled a gun on nobody, especially not a woman”. That’s talking down to women. That’s misogyny.
Demanding everyone else hold you accountable… when you won’t even hold yourself accountable is performative and shirking blame. Don’t do it. It’ll just erode whatever trust anyone had left.
“Nobody seems to want to do anything with me anymore.” No shit. Considering you threw up an Instagram Live and said you wanted to be held accountable, then started pointing at what everyone *else* did? No-one is gonna want to organize with you and be the next person you point a finger at.
And don’t say you’re there for accountability and then go: “I didn’t know about that” “No-one told me about that” “I don’t think it was like that, what do you think it was, tell me” “These other people didn’t include me in that”. That’s making excuses, not taking responsibility.
The only person who actually said they were toxic and they fucked up and they weren’t suited to the task they jumped into the seat of? Tatii, from EDM and the Black Femme March. Tatii was the only one to apologize to the protest community.
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Want to see if you agree? Watch the video for yourself: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CKN6nNRi8QH/
